Perhaps you have been struggling with something for a while. You often feel tense, find it hard to understand your emotions, or notice that you keep falling back into the same patterns. Sometimes you don’t know exactly what is wrong, but you do feel that you want to change something.
In situations like these, counseling can help. But what does a counselor do exactly? And when is a good time to seek help?
What does a counselor do?
A counselor helps you get clear on what you are struggling with. Together, we explore what is going on, which thoughts and feelings go with it, and what you need to move forward.
You don’t need to come with a fully fleshed-out story. Even if you have an indefinable feeling that things are no longer working as you would like, you are welcome.
During counseling, you will:
- gain more insight into your feelings and behavior;
- discover patterns that may be getting in your way;
- learn to handle difficult emotions better;
- gain insight into your qualities and possibilities;
- develop more self-confidence;
- work step by step toward change.
A counselor does not simply give advice on what you should do. Counseling is precisely about discovering what suits you. You remain in control of your own process. I listen, ask questions, think along with you, and help you gain new insights.
When do you see a counselor?
Counseling can help with, for example:
- insecurity or low self-confidence;
- stress, tension, or overstimulation;
- sadness, anger, or other difficult emotions;
- loss of a loved one;
- difficulty setting boundaries;
- changes or important choices;
- recurring patterns;
- a feeling of restlessness, emptiness, or feeling stuck.
You don’t have to wait until your complaints are severe. Counseling can also be valuable when you want to get to know yourself better, live more in alignment with your values, or make choices more consciously.
How does a counselor guide you?
Within counseling, you as a person are central. Everything you bring is welcome: your experiences, questions, doubts, wishes, goals, and possibilities.
In my guidance, I work from Carl Rogers’ Triad. This approach is based on three core values: empathy, unconditional positive regard, and authenticity.
Empathy
Empathy means that I genuinely try to put myself in your world of experience. I listen to what you say and to what might lie beneath your words, without judgment or immediately coming up with solutions.
When you feel heard and understood, space opens up to look honestly at what is going on inside you.
Unconditional positive regard
You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. Doubt, shame, sadness, anger, and confusion are all allowed to be there.
Unconditional positive regard does not mean that everything you do must be approved. It means that you as a person are welcome, exactly as you are at that moment. That safe foundation helps you understand yourself better and makes change possible.
Authenticity
Authenticity means that I am present as a human being. I am open and genuine, and I don’t try to play a role. What I say and do aligns with what I truly think and feel.
That helps build trust. You don’t have to keep up a front and can show more and more of your true self. From that openness, space for growth emerges.
Counseling: exploring together what suits you
Counseling is not a quick fix or a standard step-by-step plan. It is a personal process in which we explore together what is going on for you and what change you desire.
For example, we look at:
- the thoughts and beliefs that influence you;
- the feelings you experience;
- the way you respond in certain situations;
- recurring patterns;
- your needs, boundaries, and values;
- ways to relate to yourself and others.
I work at your pace. At the same time, I may invite you to take a next step when you are ready. This way, you learn to trust your own abilities and inner strength more and more.
An example from my practice
Sasha feels deeply connected to animal welfare and uses no animal products. In her environment, family members and friends do eat meat or fish. As a result, she sometimes feels different or uncomfortable during dinners.
In social situations, she was regularly triggered by what happened. She would feel overwhelmed, angry, disappointed, or sad. Her wish was to stay true to her own values while being able to navigate her environment more easily.
During counseling, we explored which beliefs influenced her feelings and reactions. We mapped out her triggers and looked at ways to better process and regulate her emotions, using meditation among other techniques.
Gradually, Sasha gained more insight into what was triggering her. She learned to recognize and allow her feelings earlier. She also discovered how to respond more calmly in difficult social situations.
She now experiences greater awareness and control. She can handle her social environment better without losing sight of her own values.
How can counseling support your growth?
Counseling helps you to:
- understand yourself better;
- experience more peace;
- handle emotions more consciously;
- recognize old patterns;
- stand firmer in your shoes;
- set your boundaries better;
- make choices that align with who you are;
- gain more self-confidence.
The goal is not that you will never have difficult moments again. Life remains challenging at times. However, you can learn to support yourself better and handle difficult situations in a different way.
Choose a counselor you feel comfortable with
The relationship between you and the counselor is important. You need to feel comfortable enough to speak honestly about what is going on inside you.
Therefore, it is good to look for a counselor with whom you feel a click. An introductory conversation can help you experience whether my way of guidance suits you.
Counseling is a process of awareness, self-direction, and personal growth. You don’t have to figure it out alone. Together we can explore what is holding you back, what you need, and what step is right for you.
Would you like to know what counseling can do for you? Feel free to contact me for an introductory meeting.
Frequently asked questions about counseling
A counselor is a psychosocial care provider who walks alongside you when life feels difficult. With personal questions, tensions in relationships, or challenges at work, a counselor offers support and guidance.
Counseling is intended for people who are psychologically stable and are seeking support in processing or making sense of their thoughts, emotions, or experiences. You can make an appointment with a counselor when you are dealing with challenges such as inner restlessness, stress, grief or loss, relationship problems, or loneliness.
Not all psychologists are counselors, and some counselors are psychologists. The difference often lies in the core attitude and approach: counselors work from the Triad of Rogers (authenticity, unconditional acceptance, and empathy) and focus on personal growth, awareness, emotional processing, and change across a range of challenges. For more complex psychological problems, such as a personality disorder, a psychologist or psychotherapist is better suited. A counselor without a psychology background is not permitted to make diagnoses.
The Triad of Rogers consists of three core attitudes of the counselor:
Empathy: deeply immersing oneself in the client’s inner world
Unconditional acceptance: fully accepting the client as they are, without judgment
Authenticity: being genuine, without a mask or hidden agenda.
