What is counseling and what can it do for you?

Sometimes you only realize you need something when you are finally able to stop going. In a quiet moment, on your way home, or when the day finally settles down, you feel just how tired, tense, or sad you actually are. You might still be functioning fine on the outside, but on the inside, there is little space left. Counseling can help you discover what you need and start living accordingly.

In this blog, you will read about how counseling can help, what a counseling session looks like, and the difference between counseling, coaching, and therapy.

What is counseling?

Counseling is accessible, person-centered guidance for questions and challenges in your life or work. It can involve stress, emotions, relationships, work, grief, life questions, or a sense of restlessness and emptiness.

Within counseling, you as a person are central. A fixed method or diagnosis does not determine the direction. Your story, experience, needs, and request for help do.

A counselor helps you better understand:

• what is going on inside you;
• what you are struggling with;
• which thoughts and feelings belong to it;
• which patterns keep recurring;
• what is important to you;
• what change you would like to see.

You don’t need to have all the answers right away. Even if you don’t know exactly what your question is yet, we can explore what is going on together.

How did counseling originate?

Counseling originated in the first half of the twentieth century and has its roots in humanistic psychology. This movement assumes that people naturally have the capacity to grow and develop their own potential.

American psychologist Carl Rogers (1902–1987) was one of the founders of counseling. According to Rogers, true growth occurs when a person feels seen, heard, and accepted.

Therefore, empathy, genuine attention, and unconditional acceptance are important principles in counseling. Today, these values still form the foundation of a good counseling relationship.

What kinds of questions can you bring to a counselor?

You can bring all kinds of personal questions to a counselor. Perhaps you mainly feel restless without knowing exactly where it comes from. Together, we look at what this restlessness is trying to tell you.

Counseling can help with, among other things:

• stress and tension;
• worrying and overthinking;
• difficulty processing emotions;
• strong self-criticism;
• insecurity;
• life questions;
• issues at work;
• relationship problems;
• grief and loss;
• a feeling of emptiness;
• searching for meaning or purpose;
• important decisions or life changes.

Please do not wait until your symptoms are severe. Sometimes you simply notice that you no longer want to continue in the same way. That alone can be a good reason to talk to a counselor.

What happens during a counseling session?

A counseling session is an open and confidential conversation focused entirely on you. You get the space to freely think, feel, and explore what is going on inside you—without judgment or pressure.

You don’t have to tell your story perfectly, nor do you need to have everything figured out. We start with whatever is on your mind right now.

During a session, I listen to you, ask deepening questions, and help you gain more insight into your thoughts, feelings, and patterns.

For example, we explore:

• what you are experiencing exactly;
• which situations trigger tension or emotions;
• which beliefs influence you;
• how you respond to yourself and others;
• what you need;
• which step suits you.

The focus is not on a quick fix, but on clarity and awareness. From that clarity, space for change often arises naturally.

After a counseling session, many people experience:

• more peace and overview;
• clarity about what is going on;
• greater insight into themselves and their situation;
• a better understanding of their feelings;
• new ways to handle difficult situations.

Sometimes change happens by taking big steps. Often, it begins with a small shift that ultimately makes a huge difference.

What does a counseling process look like?

How long a counseling process lasts depends on your needs and your request for help. Every trajectory is different. Broadly speaking, you can divide a counseling trajectory into three phases: clarification, goals, and action

1. Clarification: understanding what is going on

In the first phase, we map out your request for help and your situation. We explore what you are experiencing and which thoughts, feelings, and patterns play a role.

By giving space to your story, more insight and overview often arise. Simply being able to speak out loud about what is on your mind can bring relief.

Goals: determining what you want to change

When there is more clarity, we look together at your wishes and goals.

What would you like to experience differently? What do you want to change, develop, or understand better? We formulate goals that are concrete and achievable, matching your needs, possibilities, and pace.

“Counseling is suitable for psychologically healthy people who temporarily seek support with a challenge in their life or work.”

What is the difference between counseling and coaching?

Counseling and coaching are similar, but they have a different focus and depth.

Counseling

With counseling, there is space to pause and reflect on your feelings, beliefs, and patterns. We explore how you experience situations and what might lie beneath your questions or behavior.

You discover your own answers and solutions, allowing you to experience more balance on a mental, emotional, and personal level. Counseling is a deepening process in which you remain in control.

Coaching

Coaching usually focuses more strongly on the future. Together with a coach, you look at what you want to change and what concrete steps you can take.

Your wishes are translated into achievable goals. Next, you try out new behavior or choices and evaluate them. The emphasis is often on qualities, skills, visible results, and achieving goals.

You can see coaching as a component of the counseling process, especially in the action phase. Then, attention shifts to questions like:

• How do you want to move forward?
• Which direction suits you?
• What step can you take now?
• How can you put your new insights into practice?

What is the difference between counseling and therapy?

Counseling falls under psychosocial care and is an accessible form of talk therapy. Counseling focuses on areas such as stress, emotions, life questions, relationships, work, and personal development.

No medical diagnoses are made within counseling. Psychotherapy is used for psychological issues and disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders, personality disorders, and complex emotional or relational problems.

Psychotherapy often takes place within formal mental healthcare services, where treatment methods like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or EMDR may be used.

Counseling is primarily intended for people who are psychologically healthy and temporarily seeking support with a challenge in their life or work. If you have severe or complex psychological symptoms, please discuss with your general practitioner (GP) which specialized help is appropriate.

Is counseling right for you?

Counseling might suit you if you:

• want to understand where your inner restlessness comes from;
• want to learn to handle emotions better;
• want to break patterns;
• want to experience more peace and balance;
• want to pause and reflect on yourself and your life;
• are facing an important choice;
• are looking for meaning or direction;
• need temporary support during a difficult period.

You don’t have to get completely stuck first. A good counseling session can also work preventively. By reflecting on what is happening inside you in a timely manner, you may prevent tension or restlessness from building up further.

An example from my practice

Brenda (51) came to me because she was feeling restless and gloomy. On paper, she had her life well in order: she had a nice job, a loving family, and a good life. Yet, for her, life felt like a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Together, we explored where these feelings came from. Brenda discovered that she had never really taken the time to process the loss of her father, who had passed away from cancer five years earlier. She still missed him every day.

I guided Brenda through her grieving process. Space opened up for her to experience and process her grief and other emotions. As a result, she was able to give the loss a place.

The heavy feeling that had hung over her life like a shadow became lighter. Ultimately, her life went from a 6 to a strong 8.5.

Counseling with Eunice Frijde

In my counseling practice, Western psychology and Eastern wisdom come together. I have practiced Buddhism since 2006 and have completed training in energetic work, meditation, and mind training.

I believe that Western and Eastern psychology can reinforce one another. That is why I work with insights from both traditions.

Life once felt to me like a shoe that was a size too small. That was painful because I felt I couldn’t freely be myself. Eventually, I turned things around and found my happiness.

Since 2016, I have been living happily in Southern Spain with my life partner, Jesús. I have experienced firsthand how liberating it can be to make choices that truly suit you.

What appeals to me in counseling is its humanity. You and your needs are central. No fixed theory or method dictates who you should be. Together, we look at your experience, your questions, and your possibilities.

Frequently Asked Questions about counseling